How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
