Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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