I'll bet she douches with gravy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
