u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
farters have to be the big spoon...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
