Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
