Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
