So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
