You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
