thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
