Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
