Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
