If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he puts the penis in happiness.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
