I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
