just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
