Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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