No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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