there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
