we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
