in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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