It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
