Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
