saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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