The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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