Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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