If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize