So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ttyl tear gas
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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