What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
