My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
