Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
