My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
