I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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