im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize