She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
