i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
