i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
