Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
