Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
birth control should be required to get into college
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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