just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
