You really coming over, don't trick.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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