turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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