My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
