Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
