can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
