dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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