Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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