I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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