Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
