i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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