Michael Bay diarrhea
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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