her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
