I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
