Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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