I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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