I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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