how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
