Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
