Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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