People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My penis needs a shock collar
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
