i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
