I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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