what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We got so high we made milksteak
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
