Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
