and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
