Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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