My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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