I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize