Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
