we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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