my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
