please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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