Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's not a walk of shame if you run
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
