so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
