HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize