I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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