Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
