I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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