I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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