imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
