She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
