whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
