I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found the puke drawer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize