if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just had sex bonerless
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
