i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she peed on how many people?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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