I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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