susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
